Now I understand that within our society, it is generally unacceptable for a man to cry…especially in movies.  But there are those times within the movie theatre or at home watching a video, when it may be perfectly acceptable for a man to shed a few tears (without being subject to ridicule by friends and family alike).  But what are the criteria in order for this rare sight of nature to occur and be accepted?   What must be present for a man to be able to cry at the right moment?  And furthermore, what movies are acceptable for men to cry in then?

Well, fear not men of the world.  No longer will you be forced to wonder: Can I cry?  Will I be made fun of?  Here it is: both the criterion and some of the acceptable man-cry movies.

Lets begin; the first rule is that the movie is about war.  Nothing is manlier than a soldier giving up his life than attempting to bring freedom to a far off land, or to save his platoon.  So gentlemen, feel free to shed a tear in Saving Private Ryan.  Feel liberated to choke up during Black Hawk Down, and please don’t hesitate to sniffle at Gladiator (its warlike, right?)

In the second type of movie, a dog dies.  Doesn’t matter the reason, whether he gets hit by a car, shot, killed by a cougar protecting his or her master, or has to be suffocated because he is about to turn into an undead creature.  Any movie where a dog dies is safe to cry in.  Now, I would put movies in this category, but I don’t want to ruin the endings of any of them.  Let’s just say one involves and actor with a famously crooked nose.

The third type of movie is any movie in which a father and son reconcile, strengthen a relationship or meet for the first time.  This criterion actually covers your tears for a couple of different reasons.  Any birth is cryable, as is any great father-son type moment.  Offenders in this category include: My Life, Field of Dreams, and Armageddon (I know, I know).

And the final type of male tear-jerker: the sports film.  What better reason to choke up, than watching the kid who never got a chance to score the winning touchdown, or hit a home-run?  Now part of the reason for this phenomenon is that most men can identify with wanting to be in that game winning situation, but I digress.  Notable man-cry sports movies include Rudy, The Natural, and of course The Replacements (Can’t believe I actually just wrote that)

So Gentlemen, be free, knowing that now you can turn to your friends with tears in eyes and say: “No, you shut up!  My response is perfectly appropriate because of the following rule (fill in with appropriate rule).

* Keep in mind that your friends may have not read this post, if they have not I urge to direct them to this blog, otherwise you may be subject to many terms that you are not comfortable with as a man.