I was watching one of the Spider-man movies recently, and a simple thought occurred to me. Spider-man isn’t really an effective superhero. Now, I know some of you out there are thinking “What are you talking about?” he’s got super powers: Spidey strength, that web action (which we have to remember is man-made in the comics), and of course the legendary Spidey sense. While all this is true, Spider-man is still only an effective hero because of his location at any given moment.
Picture this: Spider-man goes on vacation to rural Nebraska; he of course brings his Spidey suit because shit might go down. So on his third day in Nebraska, someone robs a bank. Spidey wants to help, but here’s the kicker: how does he get there? He’s got no bloody buildings to swing on, what’s he going to use corn? Is he going to start jogging there? Then what does he do if the robbers have a car? Sure, he can shoot his web after the car, providing the getaway driver is driving in a straight line, but what if he misses?
Here’s the bottom line: Spider-man can only be effective if he is in a big city and can be mobile. And unlike Bruce Wayne, who can pay for things to help him overcome his shortcomings, Peter Parker is basically broke, so no Spideymobile for him.
To be an effective superhero, you have to have a major mode of transportation; therefore Spider-man is only a superhero in New York, Chicago, or any other city with tall buildings. Anyplace else he’s a jogger in a really cool suit.